what barbie and i have in common...

alright so i bet you'll never guess what this adorable piece of plastic and i have in common...i found out this week while reading a magazine. i was floored...barbie and i share the same birthday. yup! today barbie turns 50!!! 50 freakin years old. you must admit that she ages super well. being 50 she always has looked more like 18 (guess i should figure out who her plastic surgeon is...ok, done with the cheesy humor).

forever i think i wanted to share something with barbie. and this year i found out that i always have. i was a HUGE barbie fan growing up. i know many folks that like to shy away from their barbie loving years but i probably played with barbie until some ridiculous age where my mom had to hide her in the closet and i realized it wasn't cool to pretend to date ken anymore...i loved her. i think i had this love hate relationship with her though. on one hand i loved her because she was pretty, had some great accessories and in my imagination i could live vicariously through her. i, however, did join the thousands of little girls that some where deep down felt a whole bunch of pressure to be her. and well, this curly haired brunette just never quite added up to the fake doll. of course i never knew directly that barbie hindered my self esteem. i didn't cry in my room as a teen because i didn't look like her BUT i think that the image of what it meant to be beautiful somehow burned in my mind...

it has taken years of searching and thought to undo my paradigm of beauty. i have seen some unbelievably beautiful people in my world. i have modeled my life, clothing and hair style after them and the barbies on the screen (i only went blond for a few months and then realized that was just silly!)...and over the years i think i have begun to see what real beauty looks like...and i am convinced that it is rarely seen on a barbie doll.

but...

in the eyes of my best friend on her wedding day as they glowed in awe of the faithfulness of jesus...in the beautiful heart of one who would lay herself down to learn what it looks like to truly choose the love of someone...in the sacrifice of my mother who choose to give me the world while loosing so much of it for herself...in the sweet giggle coming from a downstairs room as "i love lucy" echoed in the back ground...in the persistence of a young women who month after month of getting her heart broken says "lets keep trying"...in the patience of a young mom teaching her son how to draw a bus...in a grandmother who has chosen to take her grandchildren and love them as first borns...in the broken heart that chose to let herself love again, even if it meant significant risk...in a body of jesus who threw themselves into a burning apartment building to make sure everyone was safe...in the dark eyes of the little uganda girls laughing just for the fun of it...a mother who sees all the broken as her own...in the tears of an indian prostitute who just wanted to know how her kids were doing...in the smile of a little girl in a photo that burns in my mind who many see as 146...

beauty is indeed all around and in the eyes of the beholder. over the years i have had the opportunity to behold so much beauty. this year i turn 28 and this year i am convinced that i will get to behold so much more. i will have the opportunity to restore, create, empower and seek beauty. i was joking with kimbal the other day as we talked about my official "start date" with love146 being my birthday. i told him that it was very significant to me...that this year, beginning today, i am now working with a group of people passionate and brilliant in the work of abolition and restoring beauty to its original intent (love146.org). what and amazing gift!

happy birthday to me!

today i sat in a staff meeting listening to ideas, thoughts, budget updates, etc...and i was overwhelmed for a moment that this is where i sat on my birthday...as i sat there i began to reflect on the journey i have had and all the beauty i have had the opportunity to hold in this life...i have held so much more than any blonde doll ever could!

so barbie, i am glad we share a birthday...but i am thankful that i haven't learned beauty from you...thank you to all of you beautiful women who continue to teach me what beauty is indeed all about! you, over the last 28 years, have been the image that i will spend my years modeling. i love you. you make me smile!